Planning a funeral during COVID-19

The death of a loved one is difficult at any time. But planning a funeral during COVID-19 has made losing someone special during the pandemic even harder for a lot of Australians.

With families often spread across the country, social gathering restrictions and travel bans are preventing relatives from gathering to say their goodbyes when someone dies.

This article offers some tips for planning a funeral during COVID-19 and offers some advice for paying tribute to a deceased loved one during the coronavirus pandemic.

Funeral restrictions during COVID-19

Lockdown rules and bans on travel and social gathering has impacted planning a funeral during COVID-19.

Sadly for many Australian families, in 2020 we started seeing funeral restrictions during COVID-19. This meant families were only allowed to gather in small groups as little as five or 10 in some instances.

We have seen the heartbreak of the bereaved forced to be seated 1.5 meters apart. Mourners have even been forbidden from hugging one another, unable to provide comfort in their grief. Even the Queen wore a mask and sat alone at the funeral of her husband, Prince Philip.

When planning a funeral during COVID-19, the rules are constantly changing and it’s hard to keep up. So for the most up-to-date advice check your state government website for the latest information on funeral restrictions during COVID-19.

While COVID-19 funeral restrictions are in place, funeral directors and churches have been forced into the 21st century to offer video streaming at funeral services. This meant that family and friends unable to go to a funeral during COVID-19 can still pay their respects and grieve virtually.

It’s not only lockdown funeral rules that have made the passing of a loved one that more difficult during COVID-19. During peak outbreak periods, lockdown rules banning visitors to the home and social gathering in some states have made the grieving process tougher too.

‘Think outside the box’ when saying goodbye

Restrictions on social gatherings are changing the way we’re planning a funeral during COVID-19. The coronavirus has made us reconsider what’s most important when someone we love dies, said Bare Cremation’s co-founder, Sam McConkey.

“The pandemic has forced us to ‘think outside the box’ when it comes to planning a funeral. It’s shifted the thinking from ‘what’s been done for 100 years to ‘what would my loved one actually want’ - and in many cases that’s not an expensive, traditional funeral.

“Studies have found the most Australians don’t want an expensive or traditional funeral, but the industry is not really set up to provide a good alternative,” he said.

Many families and friends who are planning a funeral during COVID-19 are, sadly, unable to gather in a traditional funeral service setting. Instead, they are arranging an unattended, bare cremation, at the time of passing.

But rather than being a negative experience, separating the actual cremation from any ceremony allows families the time and budget to take a breath and plan a more personalised send-off later on. In a COVID world, it has become commonplace to hold a memorial or celebration of life service in the weeks or months after someone has died, when family and friends can more freely travel and socially gather.

Instead of rushing the grieving process of planning a funeral during COVID-19 in a few days after a person has died, a bare cremation allows families time to grieve while they plan a farewell that celebrates their loved one’s life.

Bare provides an unattended direct cremation service to allow families and friends the time, budget and freedom to plan a farewell that best celebrates their deceased loved one in the way they lived it.

“We used Bare Cremation earlier this year when my mother-in-law passed away,” said Trudi Simmonds.

“She was in NSW and we were locked down in Vic. They organised everything, were very supportive and guided us every step of the way. COVID has made life tricky, but we were thankful though we found Bare Cremation. It was affordable at a time for us when we were wondering how we would get through it.”

After the cremation, Trudi’s family planned to arrange a memorial and scattering at Rookwood cemetery in NSW, to reunite her mother-in-law with her twin.

You don’t need a coffin present to say goodbye to a deceased loved one. And it doesn’t even need to be held in a church or chapel. Planning a memorial or life tribute allows you to think outside the box, in more ways than one.

Funeral ideas during COVID lockdown

1. Virtual service

When gathering limits at funerals have been restricted, families that are still wanting a traditional church or chapel send-off are live streaming the funeral service. But it’s generally just as expensive to arrange a traditional funeral with only a few people in attendance as it would be with an unlimited number of mourners present.

A virtual gathering doesn’t need to be in a church or chapel if that’s not what best represents a person’s life. A more affordable alternative is an unattended cremation that allows families to arrange a farewell separately, someplace else – virtually included. There are so many format options for streaming virtually during COVID.

It’s becoming common for families in lockdown to host their entire memorial with a virtual video meeting room like Zoom, with nobody together in person. Virtual memorials allow everyone to participate in the service, read tributes or give a eulogy – they don’t need to be at the meeting host’s location. These online gatherings can still include many of the usual funeral elements like a photo tribute section, music and speeches.

It was my uncle’s first anniversary in the peak of Melbourne’s first COVID-19 lockdown, when we were restricted to 5km and no visitors to the home. Uncle Fred was a religious man, so a Rosary mass in church would usually have been arranged at this time. Rather than streaming from a church mass, his grandkids set up a family Zoom session and shared a YouTube video of the Rosary being led by another church.

About 30 households joined in the virtual mass from their homes to honour Uncle Fred’s life. Despite being in separate homes, it was a heart-warming experience to see everyone’s faces on the screen, united in tribute to my uncle.

2. Ocean scattering

The no-frills aspect of a Bare cremation is ideal for people, like Steve and Linda’s mum, who wished for a more intimate ocean send-off. The siblings said their mum always wanted to be scattered in the ocean - a place she loved, surrounded by those closest to her.

“Mum loved to watch the sunset on the water… there was no need to have an expensive funeral in a stuffy funeral home. That was just not mum. Bare suggested we scatter her ashes on the ocean at sunset… They booked the boat and celebrant. It was just us – Mum’s kids and grandkids.

“We scattered the ashes in the ocean. We then all sat, watching the sun go down and privately remembered mum. I’ll never forget the special way we were able to farewell mum. It was just perfect.”

Bare supported another family to hold a scattering service on the beach during COVID lockdown. There were only four people there, but we arranged for the ceremony to be filmed and live-streamed so family members all over Australia could be part of the farewell.

3. Collaborative photo slideshow

A heart-warming part of any funeral is usually watching a photo slideshow of fond memories of the deceased. Today’s technology allows so many options to collaborate and share photos and videos online.

Setting up a collaborative photo album allows friends and family to select and contribute pictures to the slideshow digitally. Sifting through old photo albums can also be a lovely way to reflect and remember loved ones who are no longer with us too.

Once the album is complete, the slideshow can be accessed by anyone, at any time.

4. Sing or play a favourite song together

A song can evoke strong memories and take you back to a special moment in time. In the same way that we pause for a minute’s silence at 11am on Remembrance Day, families and friends in lockdown have united in their grief by singing or playing a loved one’s favourite song at the same time, while in separate locations.

5. Enjoy a favourite meal in tribute

Was your Nan famous for making the best casserole or did she bring trifle to every family gathering? Recreating a loved one’s signature dish can be another way to celebrate a loved one’s legacy.

If restaurants are open for table service, you might prefer to book a table at a family favourite spot and raising a glass to your person’s special life.

6. Arrange the cremation now and memorial later

An unattended or ‘bare’ cremation decouples the burial or cremation from the gathered ceremony. The dignified direct cremation can happen in the next few days after passing, allowing families and friends the time to plan a celebration of life or memorial event once restrictions have eased and more people can attend. This can happen at any time – in the weeks or months to follow.

Many people are postponing the memorial until restrictions ease, choosing a special date like the deceased person’s birthday, to hold the celebration of life. One family we arranged a Bare cremation for is planning to scatter both Mum and Dad’s ashes together on their wedding anniversary, now that both parents have passed.

When considering funeral ideas during COVID, a memory table with a photograph of the deceased and the ashes can be a lovely focal point in place of a coffin. As each life is unique, the memory table can be decorated to represent the deceased person’s passions and hobbies. Linda arranged this for her father's farewell.

As lockdowns lifted in Brisbane, Linda booked a venue to farewell her dad Laurie, a 98-year-old veteran. With a Bare cremation previously arranged, a venue booking gave Linda the peace of mind that she could postpone the memorial if rules changed. She took her time to rally the troops and plan an honourable farewell befitting of a decorated military hero.

“We arranged his memorial once we had his ashes and held the interment immediately after. In these uncertain COVID days and having just come off a lockdown and funeral restrictions, it was a comfort to know we could put his memorial on hold if restrictions increased,” Linda said.

“We held his funeral in a venue which allowed more guests than the funeral chapels and set it up with his ashes in place of a coffin. As his funeral had military aspects due to his heroic war service, the air force and RSL provided the flags under and over his ashes as well as tributes.

“There was literally no difference in the respect and reverence offered by the attendees and felt by the family. We gave Dad the send-off he deserved without any of the additional pain.”

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For more suggestions on planning a funeral during COVID-19, read our article 13 unique memorial service ideas.

Planning a funeral during COVID-19 brought challenges no one could have prepared for. Many families found comfort in adapting traditions, whether by gathering online, holding smaller services, or waiting until they could come together safely. If you’re arranging a farewell and prefer a simple option, our team supports families across Australia with dignified services such as direct cremation, including those in Sydney and Sydney Outer West. We also offer Bare Memorial Service where we can help your family organise a celebration of life at a time and place that suits your preferences.

For more tips read our artice, 6 funeral ideas during COVID.

To find out how Bare can support your family to farewell a loved one, visit the Bare All Services webpage, or have a chat with our arrangers on 1800 071 176.

Disclaimer: This article provides general information only and does not constitute professional advice. Please consult a qualified expert for guidance specific to your situation.